Why?

I’m really not clear why, or how, my interest in the existence of unseen worlds beyond the one I live in everyday came about, but it is reassuring that there are so many others like me. Most of us, when introducing ourselves to a physical or virtual group of fellow seekers simply say something like: “I have always been interested in/drawn to/ aware of spiritual matters”.

In my own case I suspect that it was the often painful difficulties of everyday life, interspersed with long periods of the simple dullness and monotony of the daily round that sparked my interest in anything ‘other,’ from the possibility of extra-terrestrial life, through magic, extra-sensory perception, ghosts, fairies and mysterious ancient religions. I didn’t put modern day religions into this ‘exciting’ category – I could see nothing mysterious at all in most of them. Maybe Christianity, present nearly every day at school or Sunday school, was just too much part of the mundane world I was trying to escape because, looking at it now, there isn’t anything much more mysterious than getting born to a virgin, and resurrecting from death in the flesh. Perhaps that stretched even my own credulity too far.

In my teens, my interest in all matters ‘other’ led me to an interest in psychology, and to Jung. Jung’s writings led to an interest in mysticism, and the possibility of enlightenment, i.e. fulfilling one’s ultimate potential as a human being. As an unsuccessful over-achiever (having a good part of what many psychotherapeutic  disciplines would call a ‘striver’ mentality in the make-up of my personality) I found this quite irresistible. To my great delight, I found that most schools of mysticism had underlying cosmologies that were considerably more detailed, logical and interesting than could be found in the opening chapters of the bible or in cosmological science. Starting with Gurdjieff, whose work can be linked to the esoteric school of Islam, i.e. Sufism, I went on to find out as much as I could about (among others) Vedanta, Plotinus, Plato, Zen Buddhism, Shamanism, the Tao, the Western mystery traditions, Kabbalah and, finally, Christian mysticism.

My most profound discovery was how similar are the practices and belief systems of all these different schools. However, the symbolism of each is rooted in a particular culture, and therefore symbolism varies from school to school. I think that I might be getting the most from Gnostic Christian Kabbalah because the symbols were rooted in my consciousness at a very early age.

But despite my interest and my considerable reading on the subject, taking it any further has been difficult. I have consciously made increasing efforts (not always successful) to live according to the golden rule of most traditions – be kind to all other creatures, but the demands of work, child-rearing, keeping house, and coping with myriad non-fatal but considerably debilitating illnesses have been paramount. My personality’s need for worldly success, a certain degree of power (more about that in later blogs) and a level of material comfort and aestheticism combined to keep my spiritual aspirations in the background – an intellectual hobby, rather than a way of life.

This has all recently changed, and that is what has prompted this daily blog – the desire to make contact with others in the same position as myself. Please join me, with your responses.